What about the Children?

In chapter four Childs addresses several thing including children. Childs writes, “while the white and the black community respondents identified the potential offspring of interracial couples as an issue, they could not or would not elaborate on why these children are a concern. Some white respondents stated “it’s just not fair to the children’ and discussed their belief that offspring from interracial unions have “problems”, such as confusion over their identity and lack of acceptance among whites and blacks" (Childs 130), this topic goes back to The Color of Trouble because Kari struggled with the idea of loving a mixed child. She also knew that her parents would have never accepted the child. Childs shows the reader that people are inferring that the mixed child would never make it in society. To be clear ever one no matter what race they are struggles to find who he or she is; it’s not just and “interracial problem”. Childs talks to four couples about how their parents felt about the matter. Kayla says,
“They told me they didn’t think it was a good idea because all the things I would have to go through raising an interracial baby in Maine… that other people would be too cruel and that I had to think of the child and that it is not fair to bring into this world, interracial, knowing what was going to happen. They told me if I had the baby I was selfish" (Childs 130).
I might understand how they could think that it would be hard for the child but how could her parents say that Kayla is selfish, how is that possible. And other comments they said “into this world”, do they know that times have changed and people are more kind towards each other. Aisha talks about her parents, she says, “My mom said, “what do you think kids will be like…it is wrong to bring kids into a situation like this. Kids will be confused. I Don’t Want Polka Dot Grandkids!' (Childs 130)I think that the last sentence went to far because Aisha’s mother talks about how others will treat the grandchildren and yet she is already alienating her future blood. Again it is not up to anyone to tell the children how they are suppose act or live. I do understand that grandparents are from different times and it a little harder for them to adapt to different things. It’s a lot of pressure on interracial couples to make the right choices for themselves and their children. Why does it have to be this way? Why can't we all just be looked at as equal?

The term Selling Out

It means "to engage in an intimate relationship with a white person means that one is selling out to white society and in the process has sold out the black community"(Childs 87). This is one of the problems interracial couples have to face because they want to expresses themselves from the norm they are viewed as a sell out. “ Among the black community respondents interviewed, statements that only blacks “who are removed from their race” or those who are “weak” engage in interracial relationships were common. Black college students groups also emphasized the importance of “keeping it real,”(Childs 90) I find this statement to be incorrect. Just because a person happens to see something in other races that does not mean that they are dishonest to their race. Also for “keeping it real” that is ridicules because the college students would think this way. The idea of being open-minded should not be taboo anymore because this is the 21st century. Sometimes I can’t believe people still think this way. Five of the black couples talked about the image of “selling out”, here Andre says,
“I don’t think that [I’m a sellout]. I kind of think I’m better than those people, you know? Like, I’m on a higher intellectual plane than them…if you’re just going to alienate me [as a sellout] because who I date or what music I listen to, or because of my views, then I got time for you, really. If you know your history, then you know you’ve been biased and prejudiced against, so why are you going to be prejudiced against someone else. Again, that’s defining me by my skin color and my hair texture to what I’m supposed to do, like I’m not preprogrammed because of, and no one is preprogrammed because of, their race to live a certain way, to think certain things, to date certain people (Childs 91)
Chris gives his view on the meaning of selling out.
“Sellout, that’s what blacks like to say when they don’t like the way you are living, whether it be with a white person, or your job, or your neighborhood. I feel secure in my identity, so when people say things like that’s why you got a white wife, or you think you’re white I just try to educate them. One of the biggest obstacles to black succeeding is this mentality, you know, that you got to be one way to be black. I’m black, and don’t challenge my authenticity because I am educated and I’m with her. Judge me on where I stand and what I do. I am involved in the NAACP. Are you? I give to the United Negro College Fund. Do you? But I also am not going to let my life be dictated, like, “Oh, you can’t vote that way. You’re black,” or, “You can’t like them because you’re black”…that’s ludicrous. To me, selling out is when you do something that contributes to the negative images of blacks” (Childs 93).
I picked these two quotes because is shows how optimistic the couples are. Despite, everything they face in their lives the couples never gave up on what they believe in. I found that the couples use the negative talk as a way to stay positive. Why do others feel threaten by interracial couples? This is the question I hope to answer.

Media

Why does it seem like the media is the source of interracial problems? On TV the perfect couple is represented in the traditional way, they look happy and complete. Again we see the color-blind world people live in. Interracial couples do not have a model to look up to. So it’s not a surprise that mixed coupled have a hard time staying together. Aisha talks about how hard it is for to go any were with Michael,
“Being married to a black man would be easier…I go to dance clubs [predominantly black] without him because it would be uncomfortable…or when he came to the West Indian Day Parade, it was a problem, everyone was like, “Who’s this? How dare you bring a white guy to this”(Childs 34),
I think it is ridicules that she should feel this way. I was shocked about how they treated him at the parade; I thought it was wrong to even talked to him like that. This is the 21st century, why do people still act this towards each other. The media never portrays “ mixed relationships” in a good light, so no wonder people outside the loop question the idea. Kayla gives the reader an example,
“ I was in a supermarket with my two girls, and Hank was down another aisle, and this [white] woman came up to me smiling and said, “ I just had to say hi, because my husband and I are thinking of adopting also,” and before she could continue, I said, “these are mine,” and she saw [Hank] coming walking down the aisle and she had this look of disgust on her face and walked away. I couldn’t believe it. She looked at me like I had two heads”(Childs 40).
I thought that Kayla handled her self-well because she did not flip out on the woman. As I get older I would like to see media change because it would help people overcome racial issues. It’s important to remember that we are all humans with feelings. I noticed that I have become a more understanding person because my family is not opened minded. It’s not their fault their generation was not very accepting t these issues. In the future years I think the label “interracial” well no longer be a factor.

Hope in the World

What is the Bible’s view on interracial couples? I ask this question because the Bible is an essential tool in christens life. Is there anything in the bible that states “mixed relationships” are wrong? Is there? I would have found it hared to believe that the bible would say other wise. However some say that the Old Testament did refer to races coming together as wrong. God did not want his priest it intermarry, in Lev. 21:14, “ A widow or a divorced woman of a defiled woman or a harlot these he shall not marry; but he shall take a virgin of his own people as wife.” This is basically saying that a man of God can only come together with a pure woman of his own race. Why does is feel like people will never change, back then there was a problem and in the present society is still fighting with interracial couples. I feel that people today are hypocrites because of the old saying “don’t judge a book by its cover” and yet we continue judge one another. This connects with my book the author Childs tackles a lot of obstacles to voice her options and the couples in the text lived everyday with out giving in to the temptation of the world, they stuck together and make sure people understood why they were together because love empowers everything else for example, Sara, Caucasian, said “ I thought it… I knew presenting myself and my relationship with André was going to be…I knew it was going to be a challenge with my family…well, I remember saying this when I was little well you can’t stop me if I come home with someone who’s black…but I knew that I never wanted to be like [my father, who uses racial slurs] and I wanted to understand why he was like that (Childs 27), here Sara shows her defiance towards her father. She never settled for anything less. She even questions as to why her father acted that why and maybe because he never took the time to see inside them and prejudged African Americans. Sara took it upon herself to change no one forced her she knew it was going to make a difference. Society is stuck on unrealistic views of society meaning that is stuck in the past. I remember readings that t there was a law against two races coming together and I thought about the Constitution how all men are created equal. How is that? In Gwen’s, (African American), case she took it hard when others treated her with no respect, “I did remember that [in this first relationship] being in the mall, places like that, with him and going up escalators one day and there were these black girls behind us and they were insulting to me and I got angry. I think they also toughen me up a little bit and decides that I could do what I wanted to do and didn’t feel I had to conform to anyone…”(Childs 29) Here she gives the reader a little story of he life and how it prepared her for the future now she is in a relationship with Bill (Caucasian), she could have easily gave in to the insults instead she used it to empower her. Childs uses her inputs al well the interviews to get an understanding the world. It makes me think about the world as I get older well it say in the past or is there hope.

Introduction

In the novel, Navigating Interracial Borders, the author Erica Chito Childs’ overall goal is to explore issues surrounding black-white couples. As a guide Childs focuses on three major questions. 1. What social world(s) do black-white couples live in and how do they navigate these racial borders? 2. How do white communities and black communities view and respond to black-white couples? 3. Do they navigate the racial borders by enforcing, ignoring, or actively trying to dismantle them? Childs then interviews fifteen interracial couples for her study. Lisa (Caucasian) and Victor (African American), Olivia (Caucasian) and Frank (African American), Sandra (Caucasian) and David (African American, Nancy (Cape Verdean) and Robert (Caucasian), Brittney (Portuguese) and Mark (African American), Chris (African American) and Victoria (Caucasian), Danielle (Caucasian) and Keith (African American), Jill (Caucasian) and Lee (African American), Kayla (Caucasian) and Hank (African American), Gwen (African American) and Bill (Caucasian), Kim (Caucasian) and Stanley(African American), Jennifer(Caucasian) and Lance(African American), Sara(Caucasian) and Andre(African American), Sharon (African American) and Kevin(Caucasian) and Aisha (African American) and Michael(Caucasian). In Chapter 1 she looks at the ways black-white couples navigate racial borders, “through a discussion of their perceptions of their own identities, their relationships, and the larger societal responses”(Childs 17). When asked to identify himself Lee responded, “I just call myself black. I’m just a black man. That’s it. And I am a black man before anything else. Before my relationship I was a black man and be myself I still get treated the same way” (Childs 20), why does he feel this way? Well I think it’s from past experiences meaning that he looks down on his race: not proud because he views himself as a color and noting more. I feel that society has been very hard on him. How is it possible to think this way? Maybe later in the text he will come to realize that he is something more that color. One the other hand, Victor’s options differ from Lee, he says, “I can remember being one of the first black kids to integrate. I always found myself…even the school I teach in today, I’m the only black teacher. I have to admit I like being the only one, or the first one [black person]. But I always got treated well…however, I have seen the ugly side, like being yelled at by white adults as a child, that I didn’t belong at the white kids…but my mom refused to let it bother us, she always said you are no better than white people, you are no worse than they are, you are all people… I can remember going to school with white kids and thinking they’re just like me. You know, they don’t like homework, they’re afraid of this, they like to dance, they like to party, they swear…I always made friends. Well, I always felt I didn’t want to be treated like a color and I’m not going to let think of themselves as a color. We’re people. You’re humans. I’m human…I refuse to look at color. I want to see your character. I want to see your integrity. I don’t care what color you are”(Childs 21), Victor looks at himself as a person; whole. Color and race don’t matter to him because he is able to look past it and see what is deeper. I look forward to getting a deeper understanding of what society calls taboo.

The Color of Trouble

“I truly thought if I fell in love with a black man enough to marry him, it would ease the ache of not being with the man I really love. But it hasn’t eased, and I know now that it won’t. I’m meant for one man only, and his name is Jonathan Steele. I don’t care that Jonathan’s skin isn’t black. He’s the right color for me (Davis 272).”

In the end of the book Kari realizes that she has to be true to her heart and forget what society is telling her to do. Her whole life she struggled with emptiness in heart because she did not know how to fill it, however when she found the cure to her pain in turned out to be different then she had expected. When examining Kari’s problem from an outside point of view; a person would say that is simple just stay with Jonathan, but Kari felt by staying with Jonathan then she was betraying her whole race what does a person do in such a predicament. Will I am proud to say that she went with her heart; she did not let color stand in the way with what she wanted. Reading this book I learned a lot because it gave me a better understanding of what an interracial relationship goes thorough, I mean I knew it was going to sometimes be difficult but it nearly did not work out for Kari and Jonathan because of what others thought to be wrong. I feel that they are grown adults and they came make their own decisions. . Kari can to realize that she can not help what the future has in store for her. I am thankful that Jonathan had the patients to teach her all of this or she would have spent her whole wondering what cold have been.


“You told me to open my eyes, why don’t you do the same? For all your good intentions, the world is divided, Jon, into black and white.” Jon stood for a moment looking at her, anger, then sadness, filling his veins. “What do you see when you look at me?” He walked closer to her, ripping the buttons from his shirt as he pulled it off his body. He held his arms out in front of her. What do you see when you look at me, Kari? What do you want me to do?” His eyes fell on a small vase of pens and he reached for one, handing it to her. “Here, Kari, color me black. Will that make you happy, will you be able to love me then? (Davis 212)”

Towards the end of the book the reader finds Jonathan doing everything possible to make Kari understand that color does not matter. When I read this I was so shocked because of Kari’s words I don’t think the world is divided into but I do believe that the world is races towards each other. I was so surprised when Jonathan said. “Here, Kari, color me black. He feels this way because she is so caught up on color and by coloring him maybe they can finally be accepted in society together. Thought out the book Jonathan has been fighting for something that he really desires; that is going to make him happy. When he really expresses his anger and his emotions the reader is able to really understand Davis’ point, which is to forget the outside and look deeper within. Jonathan stands for the hope in the world because he never gave up on what he knew was right. Reading this a part of me was mad at Kari. I was mad a Kari because she gave in, she forgot why she really cared for him. She changed her views of her perfect world because people told her that is was not pure. She let people take over her life. What does it mean to be a happy? When I watch TV all I see are rich people taking about how much money they have and how big there houses are or reality shows. I think for Jonathan happiness is what comes from the heart. His point was that it is impossible to please others and try to make yourself fall in love with someone you have no feelings for meaning that Kari had to really be okay that people were going to judge her no matter what.

Pure Brown Babies

Why is it a necessity to follow with what society views as right? Throughout the novel Kari is forced to deal with her prejudice ways because she believes that it is impossible for her to think this way. Kari struggles to keep her mind straight because she is conflicted between what feels right to her and what the people around her think is right. A recurring image she plays in her head is having “pure brown babies”. Davis writes, “I don’t want people waiting and guessing what kind of babies we’ll produce. I look at Steven and I see a good life. I see babies that look like me, babies I can love (Davis 201)”, in these lines Kari finally opens her heart up to tell Jon why she did not really fight for the relationship. Kari knew that it would be impossible for her to really love her mix children if she had stayed with Jon. I knew that Steven was a bigot form the very minute he was introduced in the book, however he grew to despise the very thought of interracial couples, “you lived with him? I told you I would never marry a woman who had slept with a white man. For that matter, why the hell didn’t you tell me that before? (Davis 178)” now the reader gets a sense on how Steven’s mind works because of his races views. Why does he feel this way? Well I think it’s because of the environment he grew up in meaning that he was taught to hate the white race. He feels betrayed by Kari because she wanted to explore the forbidding race. If I were Kari I think I would be just as confused as her because I would feel responsible for leaving the typical African American traditions behind and following my heart. Davis gives the reader an insight on the major problems that interracial couples face meaning that they not only have to wonder about what others think, they have to concentrate on how to maintain the relationship. It looks like that Kari and Jon have a long way to go before they can truly be together for sure. They need to find the attraction that brought them together and look past the color. Jon even asks Kari, “What about your kids? What happens when they grow up and fall in love with someone who happens not to be black? Are you going to disown them as your parents did you? (Davis 207)”. Would she really make her children feel like they had no one to depend on? I hope she does not do that in the future because she knows the pain she went through feeling alone. I really hope that kari does not conform to what the African American society views normal.

The Parents view

Now seven years have gone by since Kari left Lonett, her hometown with Jonathan, to move back in with her family. During the three years Kari been with him her parents disowned her because they did not approve of the relationship. Her mother actually referred to it as “foolishness” (Davis 30), Mrs. Thomas feels this way because she is uncomfortable with mixed relationships. To try and please her family she takes it upon herself to start dating African American men, for example when it says, “Though Kari had a new life, it took a while for her heart to heal, to accept even the most casual of dates. Her preference when she began dating was very dark-skinned black men. The darker the hue, the better” (Davis 30), she thinks that well make everything better for but I can tell that she is just trying to masked the pain. Kari gave up on how she felt because everyone around her was telling her that she was wrong. So she could not express herself. Why does it matter what others think? I feel like if it feels right for the person then others should not have any say. When Kari brings home Steve, her new boyfriend, she feels that her parents well approve. “Surely God had dipped the man in chocolate. He had the smoothest, creamiest skin she had ever felt on a man… she was lucky to have found him. She thought of her parents. They’re going to love him, the little voice whispered.”(Davis 31) Her father loved Steve because he was a doctor and oh yeah African American. During the dinner Mr. Thomas asked Steve a very interesting question, “You know, Steve, a lot of affluent black men, especially the ones in the North, seem to be paring up with different kinds of woman these days. I’m surprised that one hasn’t gotten to you yet” (Davis 34), in my head I was like are you kidding me. Why does he care about people having different thoughts about what feels right to them?

Exploring the Novel

How has the multi-international relationships changed from the 19th century to the 21st century?
In the past people of different nationalities, cultures and backgrounds were forced to conceal how they express their emotions toward each other. They were scared to disobey the rules of society. One of the many things the 19th century lacks is diversity. As a result they were forced to live in a racist world. When looking at the 21st century, a person is able to see the open world and how free they have come to be. In The Color of Trouble, the main character, Kari, a black woman, is conflicted between the life that she wants to live with her Caucasian boyfriend, Jonathan, and the life that society wants for her. Since the relationship started on a difficult level, Jonathan felt the pressure of pleasing his family and he cheated on Kari with a Caucasian woman. The mistress, Sharon, was doing everything in her power to destroy the relationship. “Did you really think John was going to be satisfied with dark chocolate when he could have me?” was her question to Kari. (Davis, 2) This quote from Sharon shows the obstacles of them truly fighting to stay in the relationship. Sharon made it a point to clarify that their relationship was just based on sexual intimacy and nothing more. Besides trying to make the relationship work, Kari and Jonathan went their separate ways. We’ll see how they will make their way back to eachother.